We start with Part 2 of our chat with Lindsay Ames about sexual harassment and abuse against women within the Los Angeles comedy scene followed by a call from listener Liz Felando about her upcoming trip to Hawaii. Also, Ariana recaps her Coachella 2016 experience and both Bevs bow down to Beyonce’s greatness. ?
Trained advocates are available to take your calls through a toll free, 24/7 hotline – 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) – or a live chat.
ABUSE AGAINST WOMEN IN THE LA COMEDY COMMUNITY
Below are Beth’s iconic Instagram post, as well as other reports about sexual harassment and abuse in the LA comedy community. The stories are listed (relatively) chronologically and, thankfully, there is a modicum of resolution.
- Comedian Beth Stelling Reveals History of Rape and Abuse (Jezebel, 12/28/15)
- Beth Stelling’s Alleged Abuser Speaks Out, Another Woman Comes Forward (HuffPost Women, 1/5/16)
- We Should Have a Podcast – 28, A Very Special Episode (Courtney Pauroso’s Podcast, 1/3/16)
- Standing Up To Sexual Harassment And Assault In L.A.’s Comedy Scene (BuzzFeed, 1/14/16)
- It’s Not A Big Deal: Harassment, Sexism, & Assault of Women In Comedy (Women in Comedy, 1/21/16)
- Iconic Comedy Theater Faces Sexual Harassment Controversy (BuzzFeed News, 2/2/16)
- Administrator At Iconic Comedy Theater Fired Over Sexual Harassment Allegations (BuzzFeed News, 2/19/16)
- Charna’s Letter to the iO Community (iOWest, 3/8/16)
Same girl in all of these photos (me). I’ve had an amazing year and you’ve seen the highlights here, so these photos are an uncommon thing to share but not an uncommon issue. You may be weirded out but do read on. I have a point. There are many reasons not to make an abusive relationship public, mostly fear. Scared of what people will think, scared it makes me look weak or unprofessional.
When I broke up with my ex this summer, it wasn’t because I didn’t love him, it was because of this. And I absolutely relapsed and contacted him with things I shouldn’t have, but there are no “best practices” with this. When friends or comics ask why we broke up it’s not easy or comfortable to reply; it doesn’t seem like the appropriate thing to say at a stand-up show, a party or a wedding. It’s embarrassing. I feel stupid. After being verbally, physically abused and raped, I dated him for two more months. It’s not simple.
After I broke up with him he said, “You’re very open and honest in your stand-up, and I just ask that you consider me when you talk about your ex because everyone knows who you’re talking about.” And I abided. I wrote vague jokes because we both live in L.A. and I didn’t want to hurt him, start a war, press charges, be interrogated or harassed by him or his friends and family. I wanted to move on and forget because I didn’t understand. I don’t want revenge or to hurt him now, but it’s unhealthy to keep this inside because my stand-up is pulled directly from my life. It’s how I make my living. My personal is my professional. That is how I’ve always been; I make dark, funny.
So now I’m allowing this to be part of my story. It’s not my only story, so please don’t let it be. If you live in L.A., you’ve already started to hear my jokes about this and I ask you to have the courage to listen and accept it because I’m trying. Already since talking about this onstage, many women have come to me after shows asking me to keep doing it. Men have shown their solidarity.
An ex-girlfriend of this ex-boyfriend came to me and shared that she experienced the same fate. Then there was another and another (men and women) who shared other injustices at his hand…Beth Stelling
- IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Accidentally Went On A Date With A Presumed-Gay Canadian C-List Celebrity Who Creepily Proved He Isn’t Gay (xojane)
- A Judge Found Jian Ghomeshi Not Guilty On All Charges (BuzzFeed)
- Jian Ghomeshi Accuser Has No Regrets After Shaming Defamed Host: ‘I’d Do It Again’ (ET Canada)
- Why Jian Ghomeshi accuser wants you to know her name (Toronto Star)